Okay so I missed class Friday so I missed out on the
discussion, but it was on having babies… And I missed class to go and see my
brand new niece! Little Rylie Renee Lovelace was born Wednesday February 20th.
And she is just a doll! So I talked to my sister and my mom (because she is out here from
Georgia to see Rylie) about some of the things that were in our readings about
having a child and that is kind of what I am going to put into here today. But I
want to start with the topics from earlier this week.. We’ve been talking about
the adjustments you make after you get married. We first brought back some of
the trends on how less people are getting married especially due to
cohabitation, but I’ve kind of already talked about that so I’m not going to
really focus on that today. So of course, if you are not cohabitating, when you
do move in together there are going to be some challenges. Most of the things
we talked about in class can be alleviated through dating, but there are still
always going to be some. A few of the things that were brought up in the class
discussion were; how you do the finances, like having separate accounts or a
joint account, who is going to handle the money, and there are a lot more bills
that you don’t realize and that can cause stress on you both. How much time you are going to spend with the
extended family on each side, and even the time spent with each other- you
might be used to spending a ton of time together through dating but when you
are married it is going to be a whole lot more time. And are you going to take
vacations away from each other, or do you want to spend every moment that you
can with each other? One big one, that in my opinion can start to be figured
out through dating, but not completely taken away is resolving conflict. You have
to learn how to compromise and learn to disagree. There are going to be
disagreements and you have to learn how to handle them, do you like to sit and
talk about it or do you like to go walk to off and then when you’re cooled off
come back and talk, or calm down and then not need to talk? If one of you is a
talker and one of you has to walk it off, are you both okay with that? Do you
never go to bed angry, or sleep it off til you have a clear mind? Like I said,
if you really know the person you’re marrying you should have a pretty good
idea about how they handle differences but there will be some differences and
you are still learning. And then the last one I’m going to mention is just the
little quirks of living with someone, like if they leave their towel on the bed
and you hang it up right away, or do they squeeze the toothpaste and you roll
it? I mean I dunno cause I’m not married… But I think yea there are some things
that you have to get used to, but that’s part of life and if you love them, so
what? You can get used to those things for them and work through them for each
other. J
Okay
and then comes the BABY!!! And I did not really agree with the powerpoint that
we read on having babies… But then-again, I’ve never been married and had a
baby.. But I talked to my mom and my sister and got their opinion and I think
that some people might have this opinion on having babies, but I don’t think
that it is the opinion that everyone has. So what the powerpoint was saying was
that some of the challenges of having babies were was that your marital
happiness was at its peak when you got married and with every kid it goes down.
It said that sometimes the intimacy levels in the marriage will go down,
husbands will feel like left out and wives will feel like the husbands don’t
care. I feel like, yes kids are hard work but they can also be one of the
happiest things that happen in your lives.
They can bring so much joy to your life together. Talking to my mom especially, she said that we
were the greatest thing that ever happened to her. And seeing my sister and brother-in-law and
how much joy little Rylie has brought them so far, I think you just have to
make the choice to be happy like with anything else. Plus, look how stinkin ADORABLE she is!!! J 
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